Inner Child Worksheet
Disclaimer: This is not new information. I’ve already placed it in the previous lessons.
But I urge you to read on.
To be honest, I’ve said all that I knew about the crucial bond between your inner child and your adult self. But Self-Parenting and Inner Child Work are not as straightforward.
When I started my Inner Child Work, it took me a while before I was even able to be open up with myself in a meaningful way. I would scramble through memories and a lot of times, I just avoided the trauma because it brings out so much negativity and you find yourself going down the rabbit hole while you have the entire work-day ahead of you.
But that’s the crux of Inner Child Work. To be uncomfortable. To work through pain and shame. To strike a match in the darkest corner of your awareness and look at your fears in the eye. To topple over the “stack of hurts”.
For this reason, Inner Child Work takes a lot of time. Think of it like uprooting a tree and examining its roots. You’ll have to dig through the mud, get your hands dirty, and only then, you retrieve the rottenness at its bottom. It takes months, even years.
There are two rules: “Be kind to yourself” and “Be patient with yourself”.
Below I have collated all of the Inner Child Work exercises. Undertake them at your own pace, and repeat them as often as you need to.
Inner Child Worksheet
Core issues: Write down the core issues that bother you about your personality: reactions to particular events, weaknesses, tendencies, or habits you struggle with.
Connect with your inner child: Set time aside to play. You could bicycle, indulge in sports, throw around a ball, build blocks, do a jigsaw, or color.
After the play activity, journal your emotions. How did you feel during the playtime? Did you think of any incident or memory?
Gauge your parent’s inner child: Start journaling about your parents: their qualities that you love and admire, and those that drive you mad. Try to understand their parenting style.
Start a dialogue with your inner child: Write a Letter to Your Inner Child asking specific questions:
• What does being “at home” mean?
• Did you feel properly loved, in a way you needed to be loved?
• Is there something you want to tell me now?
• What do you want to tell [Mom / Dad / sibling]?
You can add more questions if you like.
Find out your attachment style: I have provided the Attachment Style Quiz. You could do some additional reading about the results of your attachment style and match it with your own experiences.
Visualize yourself with an ideal parent: This is a great visualization exercise by Harvard Professor, Dr. Brown. You can either read my description (given in Lesson 6 above) and write down your emotions after each visualization, or you could use the exercise narrated by Dr. Brown.
Write a letter to your inner child: Write a letter from your adult-self to your child-self. Validate their emotions as an ideal parent would. Empathize with them. Is there anything you would like to tell your child-self?
Daily healing session: Start a daily healing session. Do it yourself or use a guided meditation session while you repeat your affirmations.
Our capacity to learn is endless and what can be more enlightening than starting with our inner selves. That said, it is important to remember that Inner Child Work is a life-long process. Just like childhood, it’s abstract and transcendental. It can’t be completed in a particular time-frame.
Try not to focus too much on the results. Learning about yourself—your triggers, your fears, and your balms—is a reward in itself. It is only when we are completely aware of our tendencies that we can learn to work on them.
I wish you all the best.
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