Attraction Body Language

26.04.2016 |

Episode #5 of the course The secrets of body language by Vanessa Van Edwards


Body language is an essential ingredient of attraction. When we talk about love, dating, and romance, body language plays a big role.

So many people wonder:

“What happened in this relationship?”

“Do they like me?”

“Why didn’t they call?”

Body language will give you the tools to know where you stand. And it happens in three parts.


Part 1: First Impressions

Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher says that the human body knows within one second whether someone is physically attractive or not. Here are the body language cues that humans find most attractive:

Availability: Both males and females find people with available body language the most attractive. Available body language is smiling, uncrossed arms, uncrossed legs, and upward gazing (not looking down at shoes or phones).

Fertility: From an evolutionary perspective, humans are tuned into body language cues that signal fertility and youth, and these can be emphasized with body language. For men, standing up straight, squaring the shoulders, planting feet slightly more than shoulder-width apart, and displaying hands are all signs of fertility. For a woman, keeping your hair down, tilting your head to expose pheromones, and keeping hands and wrists visible to display the soft skin of the wrists are highly attractive for men.


Part 2: Attract Them While You Can 

Once our mind decides we like someone as a potential mate, our body automatically begins to change physically to attract the person. Here are a few additional cues we can signal to attract a mate from a body language perspective.

Lean In: Leaning toward someone is a nonverbal way of telling them you are engaged. This works especially well if you are in a group of people and you are interested in one person in the group. A way to show them you are interested is by leaning towards them. This will subconsciously pull them in your direction.

Head Tilting: Head tilting shows interest and engagement. If you are speaking with someone, let them know you are present and interested by tilting your head and gazing at them.


Part 3: Find the Signs 

Flushed and Blushed: When we are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to get red. This happens to mimic the orgasm effect where we get flushed. It is an evolutionary way the body tries to attract the opposite sex.

The Power of the Purse: Purse behavior is a form of nonverbal communication. For example, if a woman is feeling uncomfortable or not attracted to someone, she will either clutch her bag tightly or place it in front of or covering her body. When a woman is attracted to a man, she literally and figuratively wants nothing to stand in the way between her and her man.

Their Feet Like You: The feet serve as a direct reflection of a person’s attitude. The key is to recognize where a person’s feet are pointed. When the feet are pointed directly toward another person, this is a sign of attraction, or at the very least, genuine interest. If, on the other hand, the feet are pointed away or toward the exit, this means that signs of attraction are probably not present.

And to learn all of my body language of attraction tips, watch here.


P.S. Already in a relationship? Find out if you and your partner are in lust, attraction, or attachment.


Recommended book

Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards


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